Trophies

There are all kinds of trophies. Trophies exist for winning all kinds of things. And what exactly is a trophy? A trophy is anything taken in competition, a prize. Something taken in victory, valor or by skill. Such as, a trophy wife. As you can imagine, in the Wild, Wild West there must be lots of trophies up for grabs. Who can drink the most, who can dance the best, who can wear the biggest belt buckle, who can carry (and maybe toss in the air)a woman across the dance floor best etc. But have you ever heard of a "trophy vieja?" Well, I have a friend, poor vieja, who has come to the conclusion that she is a trophy vieja.
One day poor vieja noticed that many of her male acquaintances had a common theme. They were like male peacocks who arrogantly strutted around with their feathers all aglow. They had names like "El Jefe," (the boss), "PYT," (pretty young thing), and "OMG," (Oh My God). And those are just a few of the many (although she's not bragging). "El Jefe" was a good dresser, good dancer, and fun to be with. But alas, as his name hints, he walked around like he was "the boss." Then "PYT" again was a good dancer, dresser and fun to be with. But alas, out on the dance floor he put on a big show that showed off his virility. "OMG" probably dressed the best, was fun to be with, and put on a show on the dance floor that rivaled "PYT's"!
Well, poor vieja began to wonder, and worry a little bit too, about why she attracted these pretty peacocks. Was there something wrong with her? Did she strut like a female peacock? Did she put on a show on the dance floor? Although she was considering wearing a big belt buckle, she hadn't as of yet. So, what was it that led her to believe that she was a trophy vieja? Well, these peacocks had certainly by definition, used their "skills" in "competition" for some kind of trophy. They and their big belt buckles, hats of various sizes and shapes (there's the large rim, the felt, the straw, the taco-which folds up on the sides like a taco, black, white, etc. adorned with various hatbands, signatures, scorpions, and even jewelry that glitters with the name of their home state in Mexico!) and fine clothing strutted around showing off their feathers. All they needed was their "trophy vieja" to make their picture complete. You ask why a trophy "vieja" instead of a trophy "chica?" Well think about it. What more can a man, who wants to show off his prize, have than a mature woman. A chica's just a girl. But a woman, now there's something to be proud of. He can show that he's "a real man."
Well, for the life of her, poor vieja could not figure out why she was the one, the one to be their trophy vieja. She stayed up nights, when she wasn't with one of the peacocks, trying to analyze herself. But she couldn't find any answers. She concluded that she'd just have to accept her fate and spend her days as the trophy vieja to virile, young trophies. OOOOooopps!!!!
I mean cowboys. I guess she's just good at what she does with her "skills" out on the dance floor! Maybe that's why she uses "Hotel California" (she's got a lot of pretty, pretty boys she calls "friends") as her ringtone for when these prize peacocks call. She philosophically sighs, poor vieja, as she reads the refrigerator magnet that her friend gave her which says, "Waiting for the right guy, meanwhile having a great time with the wrong ones!"