Friday, December 19, 2008

Damsel In Distress

The "Damsel in Distress" seems to be one of those situations men flock to. I don't know exactly what it is. Maybe it gives them the opportunity to feel like some kind of prince Valient coming to the rescue. But, come to the rescue they do. One night at one of the dance clubs, I saw my ex with a new woman. It was somewhat of a shock for two reasons: One, I hadn't seen him in months (which, by the way, was a good thing). Two, because the woman he was with was not a stranger to me. As a matter of fact, not only had she seen me and my ex together at that very club, but she'd frequently called me looking for her ex. But she doesn't know that I know it's her calling me. Anyway, there he was dancing with her and sittin' with her and the only reason I had an interest was because it was her. So, why should that bother me? Well, I know she's been with another cowboy who's shown lots of interest in me. I've seen her dancing with another of my exs, not that I have a lot of exs. And now she was with my present ex. Again, you might ask, "Well, so what?" So I'll tell you "what". She's not your best looking woman, your best dresser, or the happiest person you've ever seen. In other words, without being cruel, she's fat, kinda sloppy, and a controlling b----! So I began to worry that she and I were similar. I couldn't handle the thought and got angry.
So getting back to the "Damsel in Distress". I headed over to where Chaparra and Joey were sitting to say something bad about the b----, where I took a quick turn, which might have been close to the speed of light, and suddenly found myself with my feet flying up in the air and landing on my behind. It all happened so fast that I didn't know it happened until I looked up and saw all these men running to my rescue. Let me just say right now, the sight of these men can make you forget anything. I totally forgot how embarrassing this was and how stupid I must look and who might have seen me and how bad I hurt. All that went through my mind was, "Oh my god!! What a bunch of beautiful faces looking down at me!" Gorgeous smiles (aaaahhhhh), black hair, dark eyes, what a sight!!! White hats, black hats, belt buckles, boots. Some with their hats respectfully in their hands. Some reaching down for me. Some asking if I was alright. And all of them concerned and helping me. WOW!!! Who could ask for more?
Me, a "Damsel in Distress"! Delicate, helpless, in need of being rescued. And along came those virile heroes, not in shining armor, but heroes none-the-less. Although that's not an approach I admire, I can understand why those frail, weak, mousy women are continually approached by men. And, looking like they're frightened by the man's prowess, are so popular. And guess what, they even have their choice of men! But, that's ok, so do I, and I don't have to go around falling on my ass to get them!!! Although it did work really well!

Monday, December 8, 2008

Cowboy Hats

I've often wondered, haven't you, what it is about cowboy hats that are so alluring? Yesterday my sister and I went to a 49er game (they won by the way). And yes, I actually do more than go out dancing. We both decided, unknowingly, to wear our red cowboy hats. We attracted attention. Guys who otherwise wouldn't have, said hi and talked to us. As we walked around Candlestick, we received lots of smiling gazes too. "Wow," I said to my sister, "there's something about a cowboy hat that attracts people." "You should know," she responded. And yes, I should know. So here goes.
I'll just combine Friday night and Saturday night and the three, yes three (actually there were four), bars/clubs I went to. First of all, my escort, whom I'll call Omg, wears what Chaparra deemed a "taco hat". These hats, as you may or may not know, are from Durango, via Chicago, which, by the way, has a large Mexican population. I'd really like to visit there some day, but I'm digressing. The brim of the taco hat folds up dramatically on the sides close to the crown. It has an arrogant image. A cowboy who's prowess is stylishly displayed! And the way he wears it says even a little bit more about him. Of course the taco hat comes in black or white. Some cowboys swear by black and others by white. To me, and the other women I know, the color is inconsequential, it's what's under the hat that matters. Namely, the vaquero, and how he carries the hat.
From there the brims and crowns, not to mention the creases, come in all shapes, sizes, colors, as do the cowboys. The use of the hat depends on the vaqueros level of proficiency. One function is to draw attention. And that, it does quite well and in various ways. Just sitting on the head, as I've said, makes it's own statement. Tilt it to the side, wear it low over the brow, tilt it back, or just plain upright and he's already communicated to you a little about himself. Everyone has the images of the "youngin'" whose eager and full of energy, wearing his hat tilted back so that he can see and participate in everything around him. Everyone also has the image of the cool, tilted over one eye cowboy who saunters by attracting attention. Moving the hat also draws attention. Twirling it around on the dance floor, or tossing it into the air, or passing it around your body as well as merely adjusting it on your head, gives out signals of prowess and virility. Using it as a fan, as in fueling a fire, is also a good move for fueling fires on the dance floor. MMMMmmmmm! It certainly can make things hot out there, especially when the hats are twirling and fanning, with boot heels stomping and bodies gyrating. Why, we have a real vaquero hoedown goin' on! Try it sometime! It's intoxicating. I guarantee it.