Sunday, January 11, 2009

Invisible Dancers and Floating Hats

When I say "Invisible Dancers" you might think I'm referring to "dancers who once were there," or one's ex dance partners or whatever type of ex. But, that's not what I'm referring to. To add clarity, my question is, "Why are the mirrors that line the dance floor at El Toro so damn high?" Now I know I'm out there dancing, but I'll be damn if I can see myself in the mirror. But I'll have you know that it's not just me, about half the dancers there can't be seen in the mirrors. And about another half can only be seen by the hats that float by. No head, just the hat! Even though they're several inches taller with their cowboy boot heels and cowboy hats, they're still invisible in the mirrors.
Those of you who have visited the Haunted Mansion in Disneyland might have an idea about what I'm talking about-mirrors and dancers floating around coming in and out of site. Come to think of it, that's not far from the truth. On halloween, El Toro decorates with skeletons hanging from the ceiling. At first you think, "Oh how nice. They decorated nicely for Halloween." Then as you begin to focus on the images, you see that they are couples in various sexual positions.
But getting back to the invisible dancers. One time Chaparra and Joey and El Jefe and I went to El Toro. We were 2 of 3 couples on the dance floor (it was a slow night, even though it was free). Well all 3 couples were out there dancing bumping into each other when I noticed you could see only 2 couples and a floating hat! "Oh my god," I thought, "Where am I? I know I'm out here dancing." I then realized that the mirrors were so high (about 5'6") that I couldn't be seen. "What is this?" I thought. Is this so that they can exceed the legal capacity. "No, we're not over capacity, officer. Look over there, pointing to the mirrors, "We're only half full."
Thank god that at the door, in addition to checking I.D.s and frisking down the men, they don't institute a Six Flags policy of passing a height restriction. "Step up to the notch on the wall over here boys, before we let you in." Only they'd have to do the restrictions in reverse. "Sorry, we've reached our capacity for those above this notch. If we let you in we'll be above our legal capacity when the officer looks in the mirrors to count the crowd." "But you're welcome to wait in line until someone over 5'6" leaves (which could be quite a wait). So then not only would they frisk them when they leave (for beer bottles being removed from the premises), but they'd have to back up against the notch again to be measured.
Well, I guess the moral of the story is, you may be short, but at least you can get in and either be an invisible dancer or simply a hat floating across the dance floor. It beats standing in line waiting for someone over 5'6" to leave!